Son, Brother, Friend

I wish you knew...how difficult it was to breathe the day you left us

how our lives felt suspended in time. 

We wondered if we would ever feel at home again; without you.

I wish you knew...how quiet things were. No parties or festivals. No snow forts or fights.

I wish you knew...how many times I dialed to call you for a ride, or inquire of some boy’s integrity.

I wish you knew...how frightened I was when I left home for school, if only you had been there for me.

I wish you knew...how quickly time passed and then before me was Phil; I wish you knew him as well.

I wish you knew...your three enchanting nieces and three dashing nephews, and how they all share a little piece of you; a glimmer in their eye.

I wish you knew...how our baby brother is now a man, about to take a bride. 

I wish you knew...how much has changed but nothing about how much we miss you.

I wish you knew...the forgiveness we feel as we remember this world is not our home, either.

I wish you knew so many things. 

It’s only a matter of time. 

Time.

It is a difficult gift.

Difficult for you no more.  

The things you could show us, because you have left us.

You wish we knew how much more magnificent the angels are than we ever dared imagined.

How, you never really tire because the wonder does not grow old.

How you hope we’d all remember, but trust and forge ahead;

running back for those still unsure.

You wish we knew how the painful mysterious has a glorious ending,

and how precious all the time we’ve been given is, for life evaporates like dew.

You hope we know that your life was ordained by the one you worship fully now.

He calls you Son, Brother, Friend.